did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
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And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
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Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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