I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize