if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
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