i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
