having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
