Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
