white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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