is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
