I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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