Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
