Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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