I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The power of my boobs compel you
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize