go do what you do best...puke behind churches
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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