she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize