singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
