I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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