Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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