I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
