i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
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