how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
