You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
FUCK WHALES
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
