Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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