ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
