So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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