I like to think it a success when the cops are called
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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