i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
