I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
id be glad to
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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