i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
