I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
