Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
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We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
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would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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