Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
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