Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
