Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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