I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize