ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
