Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just invented taco cereal.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
