Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
