drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
