No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's official drugs can't kill me
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
