worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
