so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
