there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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