i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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