My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
