her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
