She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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