hotel room ftw
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
