Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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