apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I can't put those talents on a resume
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
