You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
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We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
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That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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