He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
