You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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