Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
