What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
