I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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