can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize