Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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