there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
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Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
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At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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