Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
