I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
