bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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